Stu's Blog

Humans are much the same as a cell or an organism – they are always trying to achieve balance. If an individual has never been taught life skills and does not know how to get their needs met in a healthy way or to express their feelings then they get creative and they adjust and this is how all people develop from a baby to being an adultOf course this is not conscious. These are behaviours patterned over time that allow a person to cope. So in its most primitive definition if such a person cannot cope then repetitious use of alcohol, drugs, or a process addictions or a co-dependent of romantic addiction to another person will result. The only problem with creatively adjusting in this way is that for a while certain needs may be met such as avoiding difficult feelings or avoiding responsibility or duties or having to be assertive and so on...but over time as feelings remain unprocessed and needs remain unmet then the need to use the addiction as a support continues but too much of something that is not good for us eventually becomes damaging. In '12 step' meetings one saying has been. 'If you want to know why you use drugs or alcohol just stop and you'll find out." And this wisdom supports the idea I am discussing. When addicts and alcoholics stop using their chemical or process of choice they have to learn how to identify their feelings and to identify their needs and then they have the opportunity to learn about responsibility and self-support and they then find after some time that they no longer need the addiction.